People have been asking how well I've adapted to college life. Well, here you go, the following paragraphs are an in-depth physical, mental, and emotional evaluation of myself at the present time.
Physical Grade: B-
Physically, I'm probably more fit than I've ever been, considering I have to walk several miles a day just to get to all my darn classes. Plus, the karate class I've been attending has a killer warm-up workout that's murder on my arms and thighs. I wouldn't be surprised if I've lost a few pounds. In fact, I don't think I'm going to have to worry about that 'freshman fifteen' or whatever it is.
The food's pretty good too. Been eating my fruits and vegetables like a good girl, plus copious amounts of ice cream whenever the machine hasn't broken down.
However, I just keep managing to injure myself.
The bug bite count: 14, including five on my back.
Times a random body part has swelled up in the past two weeks: 2 (ankle from spider bite, eyelid from allergies)
Bruises: 7, mostly from karate, one from where I've hit my hand on a table
Amount of times I've cursed the existence of every bug alive within a twelve mile radius of my campus: 176
And that's why my grade here's a B-.
Mental Grade: A-
Got As in all my classes so far. :3 Homework load hasn't been horrible, yet. Labs are the worst, especially the Chemistry one because it's on a Friday from 2 to 4:30. Thank goodness I got out early yesterday, I was so darn tired I probably wouldn't have made it home if I'd left later.
Stress = very yes. Only because of my extraordinary amounts of random injuries.
Mental stability? A-okay. I'm enjoying the life. Not enjoying the people next door who used to blast techno music at 11:30 at night. I believe we've fixed that issue, though. After all, quiet hours start at 10 p.m., so if they continue to break the rules...well, I'll just break the rules and bring martial arts weapons into the dorms.
Random Person: "But Sakintho, two wrongs don't make a right!"
Me: "Maybe they don't, but it sure as hell would feel good to take a bo-staff to their speakers."
Emotial Grade: A+
Happy happy happy! :3 So many awesome people at my college. I can't think of one time where'd I've had to have lunch by myself. Awesome people just keep popping out of nowhere and making me very happy. Plus, they've got an anime club, a Pokemon club, a video game music club...the list goes on. I think I'll be very happy here indeed...
Average Grade: A-
Evaluator's Note: Sakintho's tendency to attract pain needs working on. She also needs to slow down on those ice cream cones and remember always do her homework early.
My Note: 8D
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
College Life 2: Mythbusters
So yeah, I saw a Mythbuster yesterday, and my inner geek was very fulfilled.
The Mythbuster I saw was Grant Imahara, and he pretty much acted like he does in the show. He's very personable, a good speaker, and he joked around a lot with the audience. I really liked hearing what he had to say, especially about the history of Mythbusters and his own personal career. He worked on a lot of movie props before joining Mythbusters, the most famous of which being the last three Star Wars movies. He actually got to wear the C-3PO costume to several events in place of the original actors, and he had lots of pictures of himself in the robot outfit. He also worked on the second Jurassic Park movie, the last two Matrix movies, VAN HELSING (HOLY CRAP), and Galaxy Quest, which was a pleasant surprise for me to learn.
We also got some previews of future Mythbuster episodes. (The ones that were filmed at NMT). I can't talk about those though; you'll just have to watch the show! :P
Also, I got a T-shirt, so I'm happy! 8D
The bad news about my college experience is my horrific bug bite. It started out like a normal bug bite, but somehow got infected so I have a nicely swollen ankle now. The NMT nurse prescribed me antibiotics, so I'll be okay, but...ow! D8 Stupid bugs.
The Mythbuster I saw was Grant Imahara, and he pretty much acted like he does in the show. He's very personable, a good speaker, and he joked around a lot with the audience. I really liked hearing what he had to say, especially about the history of Mythbusters and his own personal career. He worked on a lot of movie props before joining Mythbusters, the most famous of which being the last three Star Wars movies. He actually got to wear the C-3PO costume to several events in place of the original actors, and he had lots of pictures of himself in the robot outfit. He also worked on the second Jurassic Park movie, the last two Matrix movies, VAN HELSING (HOLY CRAP), and Galaxy Quest, which was a pleasant surprise for me to learn.
We also got some previews of future Mythbuster episodes. (The ones that were filmed at NMT). I can't talk about those though; you'll just have to watch the show! :P
Also, I got a T-shirt, so I'm happy! 8D
The bad news about my college experience is my horrific bug bite. It started out like a normal bug bite, but somehow got infected so I have a nicely swollen ankle now. The NMT nurse prescribed me antibiotics, so I'll be okay, but...ow! D8 Stupid bugs.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
College Life...
So I've finally moved into my dorm at New Mexico Tech. (And what a process it was.) Between me and my roommate, we've pretty much built ourselves a miniature house. Mini fridge, microwave, TV, our laptops, beds, sink, and all of the personal/school stuff we'll ever need...yep, I think I'll be set for the next semester.
Tech has been having nothing but parties. :P I assume that's going to change in the next couple days when classes start, but so far there have been so many barbecues that I haven't had to pay for a single meal yet! I've met some nice people here and we've been hanging out the past two days. We went golfing yesterday! Even though I suck at golf, it was still really fun, especially when you get to whack a small ball as hard as you possibly can with a giant club. It was stinking hot though, and I'm quite sunburnt on my nose and the back of my legs. (My arms are okay, though, don't know how the heck that happened.)
They have a huge library here...if it's open I'll probably be checking that out today. I could always use more stuff to read.
They also have a huuuuuge campus, at least, to me it is. I'm already getting all turned around. What happened to my tiny high school? D8
I miss everyone in Albuquerque very much, so ya'll better keep in touch so I don't get lonely. :P
Tech has been having nothing but parties. :P I assume that's going to change in the next couple days when classes start, but so far there have been so many barbecues that I haven't had to pay for a single meal yet! I've met some nice people here and we've been hanging out the past two days. We went golfing yesterday! Even though I suck at golf, it was still really fun, especially when you get to whack a small ball as hard as you possibly can with a giant club. It was stinking hot though, and I'm quite sunburnt on my nose and the back of my legs. (My arms are okay, though, don't know how the heck that happened.)
They have a huge library here...if it's open I'll probably be checking that out today. I could always use more stuff to read.
They also have a huuuuuge campus, at least, to me it is. I'm already getting all turned around. What happened to my tiny high school? D8
I miss everyone in Albuquerque very much, so ya'll better keep in touch so I don't get lonely. :P
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Television Ponderments
I flipped through every channel on my television today.
It was actually kind of interesting. I kept wondering if they were going to stop, but more and more just kept coming, even repeating networks certain times. It got up into the nine hundreds before finally getting back to channel one.
The sections of channels eventually began dividing into groups. There's the music section, the four hundreds. There's the 'Adult Content' section, which was thankfully blocked. (I really don't think that's something I want to be seeing first thing in the morning.) There's the sports section in the seven hundreds. And I think somewhere right before the eight hundreds began a long string of blocked Mexican channels.
The funny thing is, even with nine hundred channels, there was still nothing interesting on to watch. I tried watching the music video channel for a while because every now and then they show something good, but they were showing some really creepy random ones today that sort of diverted me from the channel.
I tried watching Doctor Who, I really did. It's probably the sixth time I've tried watching it now. I'm sorry, it's just too...well, I don't really know the word, but it's something of a cross between making want to laugh at it and making me want to perform a lobotomy on the writers and ask their brains how logic works, because clearly they lost grasp of it a long time ago.
I watched one of the unblocked Mexican channels for five minutes, trying to imagine what they were saying. I shouldn't be allowed to imagine things.
I attempted to watch Cartoon Network, but they were playing that stupid Dexter's Laboratory rip-off. Please, children, never, ever watch it or the TV Pigeon will come in the night and rearrange all your sock drawers.
I finally settled on watching the television turned off. It was a lot more interesting than anything else that was on, let me tell you.
What the hell's happened to television anyway?
It was actually kind of interesting. I kept wondering if they were going to stop, but more and more just kept coming, even repeating networks certain times. It got up into the nine hundreds before finally getting back to channel one.
The sections of channels eventually began dividing into groups. There's the music section, the four hundreds. There's the 'Adult Content' section, which was thankfully blocked. (I really don't think that's something I want to be seeing first thing in the morning.) There's the sports section in the seven hundreds. And I think somewhere right before the eight hundreds began a long string of blocked Mexican channels.
The funny thing is, even with nine hundred channels, there was still nothing interesting on to watch. I tried watching the music video channel for a while because every now and then they show something good, but they were showing some really creepy random ones today that sort of diverted me from the channel.
I tried watching Doctor Who, I really did. It's probably the sixth time I've tried watching it now. I'm sorry, it's just too...well, I don't really know the word, but it's something of a cross between making want to laugh at it and making me want to perform a lobotomy on the writers and ask their brains how logic works, because clearly they lost grasp of it a long time ago.
I watched one of the unblocked Mexican channels for five minutes, trying to imagine what they were saying. I shouldn't be allowed to imagine things.
I attempted to watch Cartoon Network, but they were playing that stupid Dexter's Laboratory rip-off. Please, children, never, ever watch it or the TV Pigeon will come in the night and rearrange all your sock drawers.
I finally settled on watching the television turned off. It was a lot more interesting than anything else that was on, let me tell you.
What the hell's happened to television anyway?
Monday, July 25, 2011
My Inspirational Patooey
So, those of you who pay attention to me on Facebook noticed my little blurb about wanting to be inspired for a short story. I got a few good interesting comments, though one in particular sparked my interest, and, in a way, helped me incorporate all of the ideas into a project idea I've labelled 'My Fantasia'. I want it to be a short story project, something to work on when I have writer's block, and I want it to be entirely about conscious inanimate objects.
The idea mainly comes from Ms. Shannon, who I thank and credit for what I've managed to come up with today. A future idea I am working on, however, will come from Ms. Skyler, so yes, you can look forward to more 'My Fantasia' blog posts in the future, if you're into that sort of thing.
This first short story is simply called: 'The Chair'. Here it is; you can read it below. (Oh, and please send me reviews, I appreciate the critique. :3 )
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The idea mainly comes from Ms. Shannon, who I thank and credit for what I've managed to come up with today. A future idea I am working on, however, will come from Ms. Skyler, so yes, you can look forward to more 'My Fantasia' blog posts in the future, if you're into that sort of thing.
This first short story is simply called: 'The Chair'. Here it is; you can read it below. (Oh, and please send me reviews, I appreciate the critique. :3 )
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“Why do you have such an old chair, Uncle Derrick?”
Derrick froze for a moment. He had completely forgotten about his niece, Meg, while he was caught up in the job of finishing up his college essay. His sister had asked him to watch the girl for the afternoon, and Derrick, of course, had absolutely no choice but to say yes because they were family. Never mind that he had a paper due the next day…but it was pretty much finished now, so he supposed he could turn his attention back to Meg for the moment.
“Why do I have such an old chair, you ask?” Derrick turned to face her, resting an arm on the back of said chair. “Well, this chair has many memories for me.”
“But it’s just a chair!” Meg frowned. “Mommy always complains about it when she’s here. She says you should get a new one.”
“Your mother was never the sentimental type.” Derrick retorted. “She lacks…a certain something required to hold onto things like these.” He patted the chair fondly. It was an old, wooden chair that looked as though it was on its last legs. However, it stood firm under Derrick’s weight. It had been doing so for almost twenty years.
Meg continued to frown; however, not satisfied with the answer she’d been given. “I still don’t see why you don’t get a more comfy one. That chair doesn’t look very comfy.”
“It doesn’t matter to me.” Derrick shrugged. “Like I said, this chair’s special. In fact…” He turned back towards his computer, doing one last spell check on the paper, then sending it to his printer. “Why don’t you and Mr. Chair get acquainted while I wait for my essay to print?”
“Nu-uh!” Meg shook her head. “I don’t want to hang out with a chair! It’s not like chairs can talk.”
“You’d be surprised.” Derrick gave her a friendly wink before making his way out of the room. Meg let out a high-pitched huff at this, deciding she’d punish her weird uncle later for making her ‘get acquainted’ with a chair, whatever that meant. Meg wasn’t very good with big words yet. However, curiosity started to bubble up within the girl as she peeked at the chair once more.
It was a simple chair, nothing more, right? Chairs were chairs, just like tables were tables and beds were beds. There was nothing more to them. Chairs only talked in fairy tales and Disney movies. “I’m not gonna talk to you!” Meg told the chair stubbornly. “I don’t care what Uncle Derrick says, chairs can’t talk!”
“Well, that’s awfully rude of you.”
Meg flinched as a voice seemed to sound out of nowhere. She looked around, figuring it was probably her uncle playing a prank on her. However, the voice had seemed to come almost directly from the chair…
“Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking to you, Ms. Meg.”
There! The voice had definitely come from the chair this time! Meg carefully took a step towards it, looking around to see if there was some sort of magical voice box that Derrick had placed onto the chair. However, it was still just the plain old wooden chair it had been before.
“Chairs aren’t supposed to talk.” Meg told the chair finally. “Chairs are ‘inaminate’.” She had heard her mother use a word like that before, though she had probably gotten it wrong.
“If chairs aren’t supposed to talk, then how am I talking to you?” The chair asked simply.
“I dunno.” Meg replied. “How are you talking to me? Are you a real chair?”
“Of course I’m a real chair. Bona fide, made in Taiwan, sit-worthy wooden chair, one of a set of over three thousand.” The chair seemed to be proud of this fact. “I’m likely the only one of my set that’s still around, so you’re very lucky to be seeing me.”
“You’re just a chair.” Meg retorted, her frown returning. “There’s nothing special about chairs.”
“Nothing special about chairs?” The chair’s voice took on a hurt tone. “Why, you haven’t even begun to see what a chair can do for a person! Why, we are the very backbone of nations! Presidents have sat upon our splendor! Do you think the Founding Fathers of our country would have been able to write the Constitution very well if they didn’t have a chair to sit on?”
“They could have stood.” Meg thought in response. “I’ve stood and written stuff before.”
“But you get tired.” The chair continued its rant. “And eventually you just really want a place to sit, right?”
“Guess so.” Meg admitted. “So…I guess chairs are alright after all.”
“Oh, that’s not even all we can do.” The chair let out a chuckle. “You see, providing a seat is only a beginner’s usage.” Then, the voice’s chair got real low, confidential. “Do you want me to teach you the secret about chairs?”
“Yes!” Meg’s eyes lit up and a grin reached her face. Being the young girl that she was, she loved hearing secrets of all kinds. “Tell me the secret!”
“Well…we chairs can become anything.” The chair told her. “Here, let me give you an example. You see those pencils up on the desk?”
“Yeah.” Meg nodded.
“Climb up on me and grab three of them.”
Meg did just that, hesitantly clambering onto the chair and standing on it with wobbly legs. She reached out and grabbed three of the pencils, then slid back down onto the floor. “Okay, now what?”
“First, face me.” The chair instructed her. “Then…close your eyes, and imagine your house.”
“My house?” Meg closed her eyes, trying to envision it. “Are you saying you can turn into my house?”
“In a manner of speaking. Now, imagine that the three pencils you’re holding in your hand aren’t really pencils at all. Pretend, just for a moment, that they are you, your mother and your father.”
“Okay…” Meg squeezed her eyes shut even tighter as she tried to picture her pencils as tiny little people in her hand. Eventually, she got a good mental picture of her family, standing in front of their house on a warm summer’s day, Frisbee being passed between them. She smiled at the memory. “Okay, I’m thinking of it.”
“Now open your eyes.” The chair ordered. Meg opened her eyes.
At first, all she saw was the chair and the pencils in her hand. But then, after a moment, she really saw them. The chair morphed, becoming her quaint two-story house with the slightly slanted roof, and the pencils became miniature people, growing hair and hands and feet and toys to play with. She held the pencils out, placing them on the ground where their front yard was, and she imagined.
“This is cool!” She finally said, after a couple minutes of imagining.
“Just wait until you see what else I can do.” The chair replied.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The End of the Magic - My Harry Potter Review
I've been reading the Harry Potter books since I can remember, and I've been watching the movies since a little after then, so it is easy to say that in terms of literature and entertainment Harry Potter has been a big part of my life for a very long time. I'll admit to feeling sentimental in terms of seeing it end, though I am in no way equivalent to those needing grief counseling after the movie series' end. (Seriously, grief counseling? And I thought anime fangirls were insane.)
So, of course, I went and saw the eighth and final Harry Potter movie today. I will not spoil it too much for those who have not yet seen it, but suffice to say it was a thoroughly satisfying end to a truly great series. A lot of things were left out in the movie, yes, but under the circumstances and the time restraints the movie did a good job of wrapping up the plot and staying true to the book. It was enjoyable, and there were many truly good scenes in it that I can't wait to see again when the movie comes out on DVD. (I, for one, will probably be replaying the scene with Voldemort's nerdy laugh over and over again, I swear his laugh's almost as good as Dexter's Laboratory's Mandark.)
I won't say too much more on the movie than that. I know many of you haven't seen it yet and I don't want to spoil all of the good scenes. So I end my movie review part of this post with this: Go and see it, really, you won't regret it.
In the Harry Potter spirit, however, I've decided to make the second half of this blog post a list and description of my top five Harry Potter characters after seeing the movie, and, again in the Harry Potter spirit, I encourage everyone reading this to do the same! (Since I likely won't be able to have nerdy Harry Potter chats with any of you in the near future.) So without further ado, my top five Harry Potter characters:
5. Lucius Malfoy - Pretty sure anyone besides my mother reading is thinking "Why on Earth would she like one of the jerkiest characters in the entire series?" Trust me when I say it's really not because of his personality. The only reason I like him so much is because he is without a doubt the coolest looking character in the series. He's got epic hair, a smashing outfit, and the coolest cane-wand combo thing. Just the whole evil pompous rich person package. It's fun, really, just looking at him. Enough said.
4. Minerva McGonagall - Okay, so, after the movie, I had a thought. Since when was Professor McGonagall freaking AMAZING? And then when I thought about it for a while, she really has been one of the really great characters of the series. She is knowledgeable and always keeps a calm head, and really Hogwarts would have been sort of screwed without her. Plus, she can turn into a cat! I mean, really, how awesome is that. (Plus she has a giant freaking enchanted chess set of death, you've gotta be pretty awesome to have one of those.)
3. Luna Lovegood - I've always sort of related to her because she was the oddball of the Harry Potter group, and everyone who knows me know that I am most definitely an oddball. Just watching her in the movie makes me laugh, and reading all her little quirky sayings in the books sort of provided a great sort of comic relief in the darkening plotline. Plus, she's very wise in her own way and lives up to her Ravenclaw house reputation.
2. Severus Snape - Was this really a surprise? He's one of the most human characters in the entire series, and as heartbreaking as his backstory is, it was one that really touched me when I read and turned around my thoughts on him as a character. Plus, Alan Rickman really does a beautiful job of playing him. (Which is only natural, Alan Rickman's one of those truly amazing actors.) Also, I do love his very subtle, humorous wordplay, that really only Alan Rickman could pull off so perfectly.
1. Remus Lupin - And really, anyone who knows me doesn't find any surprise in this. He's always been my favorite character, ever since he was introduced in the third book. It's actually quite sad to me that he didn't get the attention he so thoroughly deserved in the movies. His minor subplot love story with Tonks was probably the cutest one in the whole series, plus he's another one of those really human characters Rowling developed. I can say without hesitation that he is my favorite fictional werewolf, and if I ever was to be weird enough to cry over any part of the series, it would be over his death. (Curse you, Rowling, for killing my favorite character. I hope you're happy.)
So, of course, I went and saw the eighth and final Harry Potter movie today. I will not spoil it too much for those who have not yet seen it, but suffice to say it was a thoroughly satisfying end to a truly great series. A lot of things were left out in the movie, yes, but under the circumstances and the time restraints the movie did a good job of wrapping up the plot and staying true to the book. It was enjoyable, and there were many truly good scenes in it that I can't wait to see again when the movie comes out on DVD. (I, for one, will probably be replaying the scene with Voldemort's nerdy laugh over and over again, I swear his laugh's almost as good as Dexter's Laboratory's Mandark.)
I won't say too much more on the movie than that. I know many of you haven't seen it yet and I don't want to spoil all of the good scenes. So I end my movie review part of this post with this: Go and see it, really, you won't regret it.
In the Harry Potter spirit, however, I've decided to make the second half of this blog post a list and description of my top five Harry Potter characters after seeing the movie, and, again in the Harry Potter spirit, I encourage everyone reading this to do the same! (Since I likely won't be able to have nerdy Harry Potter chats with any of you in the near future.) So without further ado, my top five Harry Potter characters:
5. Lucius Malfoy - Pretty sure anyone besides my mother reading is thinking "Why on Earth would she like one of the jerkiest characters in the entire series?" Trust me when I say it's really not because of his personality. The only reason I like him so much is because he is without a doubt the coolest looking character in the series. He's got epic hair, a smashing outfit, and the coolest cane-wand combo thing. Just the whole evil pompous rich person package. It's fun, really, just looking at him. Enough said.
4. Minerva McGonagall - Okay, so, after the movie, I had a thought. Since when was Professor McGonagall freaking AMAZING? And then when I thought about it for a while, she really has been one of the really great characters of the series. She is knowledgeable and always keeps a calm head, and really Hogwarts would have been sort of screwed without her. Plus, she can turn into a cat! I mean, really, how awesome is that. (Plus she has a giant freaking enchanted chess set of death, you've gotta be pretty awesome to have one of those.)
3. Luna Lovegood - I've always sort of related to her because she was the oddball of the Harry Potter group, and everyone who knows me know that I am most definitely an oddball. Just watching her in the movie makes me laugh, and reading all her little quirky sayings in the books sort of provided a great sort of comic relief in the darkening plotline. Plus, she's very wise in her own way and lives up to her Ravenclaw house reputation.
2. Severus Snape - Was this really a surprise? He's one of the most human characters in the entire series, and as heartbreaking as his backstory is, it was one that really touched me when I read and turned around my thoughts on him as a character. Plus, Alan Rickman really does a beautiful job of playing him. (Which is only natural, Alan Rickman's one of those truly amazing actors.) Also, I do love his very subtle, humorous wordplay, that really only Alan Rickman could pull off so perfectly.
1. Remus Lupin - And really, anyone who knows me doesn't find any surprise in this. He's always been my favorite character, ever since he was introduced in the third book. It's actually quite sad to me that he didn't get the attention he so thoroughly deserved in the movies. His minor subplot love story with Tonks was probably the cutest one in the whole series, plus he's another one of those really human characters Rowling developed. I can say without hesitation that he is my favorite fictional werewolf, and if I ever was to be weird enough to cry over any part of the series, it would be over his death. (Curse you, Rowling, for killing my favorite character. I hope you're happy.)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Facts Every Driver Must Learn Before I Mow Them Down With My Car Out of Frustration
A rather long title, I know, but it gets my point across. After driving for three years now, I've realized that some people just never paid attention in driving school and obviously never learned some of the basic points of being out on the road. So, to make things simpler for everyone, I've compiled a list of necessary facts every driver must remember, free of charge. You guys should be sending me Poptarts for this kind of business.
1. Tailgating a car does not, in fact, make a car drive faster. I know this is a somewhat common belief pretty much anywhere, and when I find the person who first spread this belief they will be dropped into the bowels of Aperture so they can be picked apart by birds. (LOLPORTALREFERENCELOL) Anyways, if you are one of those moro-lovely people who enjoy tailgating because they don't know how to drive the speed limit, keep this fact in mind. Tailgating someone only ticks them off and makes them more likely to run you over later.
2. Speed limits exist for a reason. This reason is not so you can blatantly break them and zoom off at whatever speed you desire. Speed limits were made so that you don't kill yourself and other people when you suddenly come across a sharp turn in the road. Do you know what happens when you hit a spontaneous turn at seventy miles an hour? It's equivalent to a Michael Bay movie.
3. Stop signs exist for a reason. The reason is not so you can ignore them. The reason is so you don't get mowed down by cars driving in the perpendicular direction that don't happen to have a stop sign. Stop signs exist to save your hide. I'd suggest paying attention to them.
4. Traffic lights exist for a reason. See the above on stop signs and replace 'stop sign' with 'traffic light'.
5. Zooming across lanes to get around cars does not get you to your destination faster. In fact, it only ticks off the people driving around you and makes them more likely to run you over later.
6. Side and rear-view mirrors exist for a reason. The reason is to freaking LOOK IN THEM. If there is a car next to you in the lane you want to switch into, for the love of all that is good and holy, don't go into the freaking lane until the car is either behind you or well in front of you. Otherwise you'll start another Michael Bay movie.
7. Again, for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TALK ON YOUR CELLPHONE WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING. This excludes Bluetooths and like, of course. I'm talking about the actual having cellphone in your hand talk. If you are one of the moro-lovely people who think you are capable of having a coherent conversation and navigating rush hour traffic with one hand at the same time, you need to go stick your head under a garden weasel for ten minutes. Trust me, it will help.
8. If any of the above happens to you, do not overreact. Road rage just creates more Michael Bay movies. Trust me, I'll take care of all the morons for you, so just sit back and laugh at the fools who didn't learn how to drive properly. They'll get what's coming to them.
9. As a final thought, and out of courtesy for everyone else, do not drive through giant rain puddles going over thirty miles per hour unless you absolutely have to. Not only does it dirty your car, it also dirties the twenty pedestrians waiting for the bus on the street next to you.
There, now those nine things aren't that hard to follow, right? Now everyone start posting these rules everywhere on the Internet and pray that at least fifteen percent of the country's population reads them. You'd be surprised how much better the roads would be.
1. Tailgating a car does not, in fact, make a car drive faster. I know this is a somewhat common belief pretty much anywhere, and when I find the person who first spread this belief they will be dropped into the bowels of Aperture so they can be picked apart by birds. (LOLPORTALREFERENCELOL) Anyways, if you are one of those moro-lovely people who enjoy tailgating because they don't know how to drive the speed limit, keep this fact in mind. Tailgating someone only ticks them off and makes them more likely to run you over later.
2. Speed limits exist for a reason. This reason is not so you can blatantly break them and zoom off at whatever speed you desire. Speed limits were made so that you don't kill yourself and other people when you suddenly come across a sharp turn in the road. Do you know what happens when you hit a spontaneous turn at seventy miles an hour? It's equivalent to a Michael Bay movie.
3. Stop signs exist for a reason. The reason is not so you can ignore them. The reason is so you don't get mowed down by cars driving in the perpendicular direction that don't happen to have a stop sign. Stop signs exist to save your hide. I'd suggest paying attention to them.
4. Traffic lights exist for a reason. See the above on stop signs and replace 'stop sign' with 'traffic light'.
5. Zooming across lanes to get around cars does not get you to your destination faster. In fact, it only ticks off the people driving around you and makes them more likely to run you over later.
6. Side and rear-view mirrors exist for a reason. The reason is to freaking LOOK IN THEM. If there is a car next to you in the lane you want to switch into, for the love of all that is good and holy, don't go into the freaking lane until the car is either behind you or well in front of you. Otherwise you'll start another Michael Bay movie.
7. Again, for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TALK ON YOUR CELLPHONE WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING. This excludes Bluetooths and like, of course. I'm talking about the actual having cellphone in your hand talk. If you are one of the moro-lovely people who think you are capable of having a coherent conversation and navigating rush hour traffic with one hand at the same time, you need to go stick your head under a garden weasel for ten minutes. Trust me, it will help.
8. If any of the above happens to you, do not overreact. Road rage just creates more Michael Bay movies. Trust me, I'll take care of all the morons for you, so just sit back and laugh at the fools who didn't learn how to drive properly. They'll get what's coming to them.
9. As a final thought, and out of courtesy for everyone else, do not drive through giant rain puddles going over thirty miles per hour unless you absolutely have to. Not only does it dirty your car, it also dirties the twenty pedestrians waiting for the bus on the street next to you.
There, now those nine things aren't that hard to follow, right? Now everyone start posting these rules everywhere on the Internet and pray that at least fifteen percent of the country's population reads them. You'd be surprised how much better the roads would be.
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