If you read the title to this post, you probably think me mad or daft or incredibly brave, perhaps even a combination of the three. And yes, perhaps I am all of those things, but thanks to a few comments made by my Biology teacher, I am safe to leave the side of Chuck Norris. A new side has formed, a side that can rival Chuck Norris and perhaps even defeat him. My friends, I speak of the side of Jack Churchill.
Most of you, I'm sure, are wondering 'Who the hell is Jack Churchill?' He was born in Hong Kong, to English parents, in September of 1906. He fought in World War 2 and survived. But he didn't just fight in World War 2 like any other mere mortal. Oh no.
He went into battle with nothing but a kilt, a longbow, and a Scottish broadsword.
That's right, folks. He went into battle against German Nazis armed with guns and tanks with nothing but medieval weaponry and no body armor whatsoever. And he didn't lose, mind you. He actually caused German forces to surrender. He shot down Nazis with his longbow and hacked them down with his sword. He was captured three times, yes, but he escaped. All. Three. Times.
He also went into battle several times with bagpipes, often using the instruments tunes to summon his troops to battle, or to signal to start firing. So in summary, this man faced down World War 2 with no armor, primative weaponry, and bagpipes.
You've got to be some sort of beast of a man to be able to pull that off. Chuck Norris don't got nothin' on this dude. I don't see a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick felling someone who faces down tanks with a broadsword.
So yeah, I feel pretty safe in saying I'm on the Jack Churchill side now. Forget Chuck Norris, I-
(This post has been discontinued do to the author suddenly dying of spontaneous roundhouse kick to the head. Please disregard any of the above text. Chuck Norris is superior to this Churchill infidel. He will be punished. He will not survive the night.)
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